5 Reasons Why Losing Friends As You Get Older Is A Good Thing
五個理由告訴你為何「長大後失去朋友」是一件好事
You’ve probably noticed that you have fewer friends now than you did in your teens, college years, and early twenties.
你可能會發現，無論是跟你年輕時、大學時或20歲初頭時相比，你的朋友越來越少了。
Don’t worry – it’s totally normal to lose friends as you get older.
別擔心，長大後失去朋友是一件完全很正常的事。
It happens for a variety of reasons, and it doesn’t make you a bad friend!
很多原因會讓我們在長大後失去一些朋友，但這並不代表「你不是個當好朋友的料」
You may have moved away from your college friends and then fallen out of contact.
大學畢業後，你可能跟你的室友或同學不再住在一起或附近而失去聯絡。
When you make friends with people based on proximity,
the friendship often changes or breaks down when you no longer see one another on a regular basis.
Perhaps you have had children, and now you can’t relate to your childfree friends
– at least, not in quite the same way.
如果你通常是因為生活上有交集所以與朋友有所交情，
這段友誼很容易在生活上不再有交集後就失去聯繫。
例如當你生了小孩後，
就比較不容易跟沒有小孩的朋友保持如往常緊密的友誼，
若仍保持聯繫，也一定與從前相處的模式不一樣。
Maybe you’ve chosen to channel your energy into building a career,
and suddenly find yourself working so many hours that socializing is no longer a priority.
也可能你選擇將主力放在經營事業，你會發現你每天工作十幾個小時，社交生活不再是排在第一優先。
Fortunately, losing friends isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it can change your social life for the better!
幸好，失去朋友並不一定是壞事，說不定還能讓你的社交生活更有品質。
Not quite convinced? 不相信嗎？
Here are five reasons why shedding old friends can actually work out in your favor:
五個理由告訴你跟老朋友脫節是怎麼個好法：
1. You’ll get rid of toxic friendships.
1. 你會放棄某些損友
You may lose good friends as you get older, but you will also lose the toxic people who never made you feel uplifted or happy in their company.
你可能會失去一些交情滿久的好朋友，但其實與他們相處時，你可能從來不覺得被激勵或不覺得開心。
You know who they are – those “friends” who whine, complain, never help you out, and even gossip about you behind your back.
你心裡應該很清楚「那些朋友」：那些只會抱怨，從來不會幫你的忙，甚至可能會在你背後說你壞話的那些人。
There’s no point in holding onto them. You’ll feel better when they’re out of your life!
當他們從你的人生中退出後你應該會覺得好多了，沒有必要一定要與他們交朋友
2. New friends give you a new perspective.
2. 新的朋友能讓你用不同於以往的觀點看待周邊的人事物
Meeting new people is like adopting a new view on life.
認識新朋友、與不同的人相處，就像是用不同的方式看待人生
When you make new friends, your interests and tastes might change – and that’s a good thing!
當你交了新朋友，你的興趣與品味可能都會改變，這是件很棒的事！
New friends can also introduce you to other people, who in turn can broaden your horizons even further.
新朋友可能也會把你介紹給他的朋友圈，這些人都能讓你的眼界更加開闊、增廣見聞。
3. You have more time to work on yourself.
3. 你有更多時間充實你自己
A common reason we tend to lose friends when we get older is a lack of time.
通常在長大後失去朋友，有個很常見的原因就是「覺得時間越來越少」
When you are young and have relatively few responsibilities, it’s easy to go out several nights a week.
當年輕時，沒有甚麼需要背負的責任，一個禮拜出去玩很多天並不是件太難的事。
However, once you enter the adult world and get a “real job,”
you have to make some tough choices when it comes to your evenings and weekends.
Specifically,
you need to strike a balance between maintaining a healthy social life
and working on your own self-development and hobbies.
當你一但踏入了「大人的世界」，擁有一份正式的工作，特別是當你必須在「維持健康的社交關係」與「自我成長與興趣」間取得一個平衡時，
如何運用下班後的時間與周末的時間變成一件困難的選擇題。
A smaller social circle makes it easier to make time for yourself,
which in turn benefits your career,
intimate relationships, and general wellbeing.
這時候若是小一點的社交圈，就能為自己創造時間，這有利於事業，親密的關係，和整體的滿意度
4. When you don’t spend as much time socializing, you can build deeper friendships.
4.當你不再花那麼多時間維持社交圈，你才能建立更深度的友誼
When you have fewer friends,
you can put more effort into building meaningful connections with those you see and talk to on a regular basis.
當你的朋友越來越少時，你能更專注與生活上有交集的朋友，建立有意義的連結或關係。
When you are young, having a large friendship group and feeling popular often seems important.
當你年紀較小時，擁有巨大的朋友圈與受歡迎似乎更重要。
However, as you get older,
you learn the value of having a few close friends that
you can call on in times of need rather than a loose network of acquaintances.
但當你長大後，你會發覺「當你需要時可以隨時與他聯繫」這種好朋友的價值，高過於那些用網路維持聯繫的「熟識的人」
5. Old friends can keep you stuck in the past.
5. 老朋友可能會讓你陷在「過去」
Old friends are to be treasured, but hanging out with people you have known for many years can keep you stuck in the same old patterns.
老朋友固然是很珍貴的，當一直與老朋友混在一起可能會讓你一直陷在一成不變的模式裡。
For example, let’s say your college buddies always loved going to bars,
and they all hold the same views when it comes to politics.
讓我們舉個例子吧：那群大學時總是一起去酒吧的朋友，與他們在一起時總是有一樣的規則
That’s OK – but they aren’t likely to help you try new things!
這當然是無所謂，但這樣沒辦法幫你嘗試或接觸新事物
You might also notice that you fall back into a particular “role” when you are around certain people.
你可能還會注意到，與某些朋友在一起時，你會回到某個你並不再適任的「角色」。
For instance,
if you were always the joker among your group of high school friends,
you might automatically revert to this role when you’re around them,
even if you’ve outgrown that behavior.
例如，在你高中時，你總是一個逗大家開心的角色，
當你與高中的朋友在一起時，你會很自然地又扮演起逗大家開心的角色，
即使也許你已經改變，不適任這個角色了。
The healthiest people manage to hold onto the friendships that nourish them,
whilst forming new connections at the same time.
健康的人會設法維持住可以使自己心靈富足的友誼，同時發展新的關係。
Losing and gaining friends is a normal part of life.
失去朋友或交到新朋友都是人生的一部分。
If you feel that your friends don’t quite fit your personality and lifestyle any more,
reach out and form some new relationships.
如果你覺得你朋友的理念已經和你背道而馳，試著去建立新的朋友關係，或認識新的人。
Think of a hobby or interest you would like to pursue, and join a class or group.
追求一些興趣或嗜好，去加入相關的社團或是課程。
It takes courage to make new friends, but it can be done!
這會讓你有交新朋友的勇氣，而且完全可行。
If you miss some of your old friends, why not take a few minutes today to drop them a message?
如果你想念你的老朋友們，今天就花幾分鐘的時間傳個簡訊給他們吧！
Simply sending a short e-mail or a text message can be enough to rekindle a friendship.
簡單的e-mail或簡訊就足以敘敘舊。
Just remember that they might feel as though they have outgrown the friendship.
但要記得，也許他們也已經不是以前的那位朋友了。
If so, don’t take it personally.
若是如此，也別往心裡去。
Focus on moving forward and making new connections instead.
專注在建立新關係與繼續往前走吧！
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